I Was Looking For a Job and Then I Found a Job...

...and Heaven knows I'm miserable now. Corporate nonsense has been one of the themes I want to explore in The Innocents. It's a double-edged sword because there are some humorous moments at work, but sadly they are few and far between. The incidents of tears in the office are much closer together. But my job has inspired me, so maybe I should be happy, right? Erm...

It pays my way but corodes my soul

As I've mentioned before, Rebecca is very much based on my feelings about my studies and my current job. But I have a friend who works as a marketing coordinator and it got me thinking that perhaps Rebecca works in a similar area - but her position is completely bereft of any real authority. Perhaps she applied for a job thinking she would be The Marketing officer, only to be told that she's merely A Marketing officer.

I like the idea that Rebecca is working in a field similar to her undergraduate degree but completely uncreative compared to her studies. While I feel frustrated because my job has little to no relevance to my study and chosen career path, I think that for many people, this is what happens when we leave university - we head into jobs based on our study but soon realise it's nothing like what we thought. And usually we continue to hear stories about classmates who have gone straight from study to an amazing job and it makes us feel even more inadequate.

Rebecca's job is most likely mostly admin - emails, phone calls, listening to people whinge at her instead of talking to her bosses and having her bosses on her back about ridiculous things.

Rebecca's friends from uni will mostly likely be girls and guys she studied with, and even though they all get along really well, they still feel a competitive streak and approach their friendships they way they approach their work. They're much happier selling the image that they're succeeding in life. They're friends you'd go to brunch or cocktails with once a month, not the kind of friends to confide in. And because Rebecca internalises stress and has no one to offload to, her stress manifests itself in different ways.

She resorts to things like online shopping and self-help, and buys chocolate she never eats. I imagine her yelling at Samantha one day and calling her selfish because she isn't home to sign for one of Rebecca's parcels. I'm also toying with the idea of her becoming obssessed with a 24 hour gym and not going before 3am to work out.

While she is ambitious on one hand, she avoids thinking about investment in her future. She won't apply for a credit card or phone plan or even think about a personal loan for a car or similar because she can't stand the idea having to stay in her current job for a long period of time. She hates the thought of being trapped there for the rest of her life.

Any opportunity, however remotely creative, to use her former skills is something Rebecca throws herself into. She will engineer the housewarming party and put in a ridiculous amount of work, treating it as a PR exercise.

Making Christmas Cards with the Mentally Ill

I get along particularly well with two of my colleagues and they have inspired some fun times in the office. One of my workmates plays indoor soccer and his grand final was a couple of weeks ago. On the Monday, someone asked him if his team won and he said, "Well, no. But the last time we played that team they beat us 7-0 and this time they only beat us 4-0. So I feel it was a moral victory for us." I would love one of our characters to participate in some kind of competitive sport to use that gem.

We now have to email our leave dates to everyone in the office, so we all know when people are off and what we need to do (if anything) to compensate. One of my workmates, upon hearing me say I was going to use the bathroom (I say I'm going wee wees - very professional), made me email it to her for her approval.

...and now for something completely different

In a series of ridiculous paternal humour (or in layman's terms - dad jokes), I came up with a few I hadn't shared already (but if I have already it only adds to the comedic power of the dad joke, as they are always repeated).

I went to the cinema with a friend a few weeks ago and our seats were T-19 and T-20. I mentioned that it would be pretty bad if we got seat T-1000 and she looked at me blankly. I explained the T-1000 is what the Terminator model is called in The Terminator. That joke doesn't really even make sense. So I feel it stands alongside the Google is my Homepage joke of the previous post.

About a month ago I was conversing on MSN (yes, I'm in my late 20s and I still use MSN. Moreover, I still call it MSN) with a friend who said she'd bought a pair of vegetarian shoes. Me, in full dad joke mode - sends a message that says: so, I guess they don't eat the tongue. Yes. I am that awesome.

I feel I should have more to share but I think this is a vast improvement. This time last week I felt more like washing a bottle of nurofen down with a bottle of vodka than updating this blog with ideas, so baby steps, friends. Baby steps.

Watch this - it's good for you.

P.S. - the decision to use lyrics from two different songs by the Smiths is a conscious artistic decision. A conscious decision to be a wanker.