Paint a Vulgar Picture

David Byrne thinks that "we are vain and we are blind." He goes on to say "I hate people when they're not polite." I, on the other hand, just hate people. For various reasons. On a lunch hour recently I felt it necessary to put into prose the kind of people and things I hate and feel that it is our duty to take the piss out of in this series.



Here is the list, transcribed directly from my notebook (and written in pink, because pink is for GIRLS!):



Office politics and people who subscribe to them.

The 'Bro'*.

POSERS.

Homophobes.

Hippies.

People who go to poorer countries to drink cheap alcohol and eat cheap food and haggle over things that cost around $1AUD.

People who go to poorer countries and come back describing how awful it is to be white and middle-class.

People who are racist.



I'm sure we'll add to this list.



*For those unfamiliar with the Bro in the wild, he will be recognisable for his mane of fake mohawk/rat's tail combination, singlet or fitted, white v-neck tee, brightly-coloured board shorts, and mandatory Southern Cross tattoo somewhere on his body. He will also replace almost all English words with 'fuck', 'shit', 'cunt', and 'shit cunt'. He is seen predominantly in clubs specialising in terrible music, or music festivals. He recognises his kin, referring to them as 'bro', or 'bra'.